The 40s Chick Guide to the Dad Bod

So, we’ve all moved on a little bit from the Hipster, having become vaguely concerned about the hygiene issues associated with the bushranger beard and before we had time to celebrate the demise of the overused mason jar, we have, the Dad bod. Described as being ‘a nice balance between a beer gut and working out’, its not belly-the-size-of-a-beer-keg schlepping around the mall in trackies, but more like the footy-guy you liked in year eleven with a little time in a decent paddock.

However you describe it, the Dad Bod is out there and we’re on it like white on nutritionally bereft rice.

Here’s why:

Their natural habitat? Everywhere

Whilst hipsters are strictly confined to inner-city suburbs, free-trade-coffee houses and the occasional paleo cafe, Dad bods are everywhere. They can be found wrangling the kiddies in hi-vis at Little Athletics, frequenting suburban golf-clubs and enjoying a beverage in the Bullring at the the footy. Dad bods are in abundance.

 Even celebs are into it

Dad bods are not merely a product of a few Coronas and a pie night at the local footy club, but can also be painstakingly crafted by the rich and famous via time spent on super-yachts and Mexican beaches. Seth Rogen, famed modeliser Leo Di Caprio and Mad Men’s Joh Hamm are all purveyors of the Dad bod.

If ever there was a hot-off-the-press example of the pulling power of the Dad bod –  our own James Packer has used it to snag the songstress for whom the term diva was coined – Mariah Carey.

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Your own insecurities? #gone

If you are like 40schick, and prone to a sobfest over genetically inevitable arm fat, and can be occasionally seen sporting a triple-cream-brie baby, you are going to suffer by comparison with a partner sporting ripping biceps and a six pack. No such danger with a Dad bod. Sharing a little roundness at the edges means that you will feel like you are, by comparison, simply rocking ‘curvy’ with all the sass of a Kardashian.

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Food choices

Dating the Dad bod means that you won’t be tied to a Paleo-led conversion that is championed by from-generous-to-gaunt Pete Evans.

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You will be free to indulge in the odd pizza, to not run screaming from a basket of something fried and there will be no more demonising of the defenceless carbohydrate. You’ll also be pleased to hear that alcohol is a legitimate food group in the Dad bod world.

What’s not to like?

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BeLinked. The Dating App Based On Linked-In: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

my crush

So some smart techno-boffins in the backblocks of Bangalore have come up with BeLinked, the dating app that draws upon your Linked In profile and pairs you up with allegedly like-minded professionals.

It’s like Tinder for the grown-up and employed and allows the swipe-righters amongst us to trawl the urban professionals with slightly less risk of ending up on a blind date with a taxi driver.

In theory it all sounds great. You are connecting with those in your industry, presumably also your socio-demographic and likely someone with the credit-card balance necessary to foot the obstetrics bill as your baby-daddy.

But it has all the inherent perils of mixing business with pleasure. Here’s a few.

The photo

It’s a headshot. It’s the ‘you can trust me with your $70milliion project’ not ‘I’m totally able to go shot-for-shot with you in Tequila laybacks’. In reality the answer is somewhere in between. My linked-in photo is one taken upon exit from a seven day stint at a health-spa. I’m all fresh faced, sparkly eyed and eminently capable, not the girl that wakes up dusty after a few too many sauv blancs after a night on the tiles. In the photo, I’m just far too Gwyneth and not quite enough vodka lime and soda. No fun.

The fakers are still out there

Ironically, the unemployed amongst us have the most time on their hands to craft a fake Linked In profile. When your only commitment is a once-a-week appearance at Centrelink, you have ample time to select great pics and craft a creative backstory complete with a procession of roles within the Top 100 companies. The irony is that if you claim to work for any of the top 4 banks, the tier-one consulting companies or mining magnates, due to sheer weight of numbers, no one will ever figure that you are faking it.

The Missteps

If you do date within your industry, the consequences can be less than desirable. Someone you frivolously swiped, who seemed interesting and engaged when you chatted over lattes in South Melb may in actual fact turn out to be the mailroom dude at BMW Head Office and slightly less than the captain of industry that you might have imagined.

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Dating the Competition

There’s a natural order of things. It’s fine to have a desire to connect with someone on a similar wavelength. It’s problematic to place yourself in competition with someone who will fight you to the death to be the one to capture the action points from last week’s board meeting. Its one thing to find someone who has similar goals, it’s another to find someone who will shred you mercilessly for a chance to curry favour in the boss’s eyes.

Embarrassing the Big Guy

There’s a chance that your married boss, smart enough to navigate the requirements of running a listed company, has not been clever enough to anonymise his appearance on a dating app. This leaves you with the Sophie’s Choice of the interwebs. Out your superior for playing away? Or stay mum and capitalise on the fact that someone is eternally grateful for your discretion.

 

There has to be some advantages? Really? Call them out in the comments.