Regrets? I’ve had a few.
Poor choices…. too many to list here (although no doubt they’ll serve as blog fodder as time goes on)
Having deliberately sidestepped the State of origin rugby match last night on the basis that it’s a game I never want to understand between two Australian states that I don’t care for, I missed something. And it struck me that there may be a woman waking up today to find that her new online dating beau might be one of those bad choices. That is, if he was this guy.
If you’ve been in a cave (or outside Australia) in the last 24 hours, meet Wati Holmwood – a streaker who cavorted onto the field interrupting a pivotal moment in the game. Not to say that Wati isn’t in a long term relationship with a woman who has grown accustomed to his little larks and who is, as we speak, scrapbooking the print media coverage for the benefit of the grandkiddies. But if it so happened that he was your partner in crime (an oft-used online dating cliché) and you were in a budding new relationship, you’d be asking yourself some questions right now.
Surprisingly, the obvious questions that would spring to mind for most “what was he thinking / how can I delete my profile and exit this mad online dating world” Whereas I found myself asking ‘Why did he wear sneakers?’ Clearly he was not concerned about being able to follow his sport (banned from all future rugby matches), nor his professional reputation (try rocking up to a board meeting / work site with any swagger once everyone has seen you naked) or his financial status ($5,500 fine). Was he worried about the impact on his niggling plantar fasciitis if he completed the nudie run by trotting barefoot?
Which prompted me to ponder some other momentous bad choices that have been a fine source of entertainment over the years.
Hugh Grant – Divine Brown
Hugh Grant enters the wikipedia section on personal life with a rom-com-esque tale of meeting Elizabeth Hurley whilst filming a satisfyingly exotic Spanish production. Cue an ensuing trail of aesthetically pleasing red carpet appearances. He accompanied Liz when she wore what is now voted the greatest red carpet dress of all time, and then inexplicably took a tremendous tumble. From this:
in something that was regarded judicially as a lewd act and resulted eventually in an ‘amicable and mutual’ decision to split with Liz. To see where she ended up, click here
Tiger Woods – Various
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger – a smile that melted a thousand sponsors hearts, the first billion-dollar-earning sportsman, reeking of home-grown, down-south purity and god-fearing athletic awesomeness.
(I’m going to need to impose a limit here, else he could eclipse everyone else in this post)
He gets a unique section on wikipedia called ‘infidelity scandal and fallout’
He embarked on happy family all-American dream. Let’s list it shall we?
- Swedish model wife
- Wedding in Barbados
- $40m estate in Florida
- Two beautiful, genetically blessed kiddies (assuming the looks from their mother and the golf prowess from their father and not the reverse)
Inexplicably, he wandered off into the abyss of some allegedly 120+ mistresses beginning with this
And sampling these…
With the result that a perfectly good Cadillac SUV and golden couple marriage were trashed.
His new chick Lindsay Vonn declares ‘she will never marry him’. Go figure.
Charlie Sheen – Itemise
He began in a fairly stellar fashion – a breakup with fiancée Kelly Preston triggered by the fact he shot her in the arm. (with a gun, not a hypodermic)
Debate ensues about who ended up worse off – he was single, she married John Travolta.
He recuperated with a procession of ‘adult film actresses’ followed by a stint as a frequent flyer with Madam Heidi Fleiss.
Then, two and half men, a million dollars an episode. Let’s list what a million bucks an episode can buy you:
- A divorce from Denise Richards, mother of his two children amid allegations of drug abuse and threats of violence
- A marriage to Brooke Mueller, some twins
- Dual, live in ‘goddesses’ one a pornographic model and the other a more mainstream model and graphic designer. Some amicable parting at respectable intervals.
- A little stabilisation with adult film actress Georgia Jones. Looks fairly joyous…
Late breaking news – Charlie in the last four hours became a grandfather resulting from the offspring of the daughter of his amusingly-named high-school sweetheart Paula Profit.
So if you are waking up this morning, from a little regrettable Thursday evening entrée to the weekend, a bit of drunk texting, surveying a facebook blow-by-blow lowdown on how your evening went….bear in mind..
IT COULD BE WORSE